lucid_drafting

It's so quiet in this house now.

 Why can't anything be normal in my family?

I don't show it, but I'm too mature for my own good.

I'm pretty frustrated with the fact that the  people I planned to move out with can't afford to yet. I could afford an apartment on my own with how much I'm making now, and I'll be making a lot more starting in September. The reason I haven't bailed on them is because I promised them I wouldn't. Tyler let me live with him for two months, I definitely owe him my word. I'm only as committed as they are. I'm going to make that very clear in November if they don't have a plan by then.
but, we'll see. Tyler seems to be getting more serious and Chris is trying harder to find a job. and with my dad leaving for Iraq, I'll be able to help my mom out during the day and Austin can help at night when I leave for work. This works for now.

 Sometimes I'll use this to jot down my dreams, sometimes I'll use it to vent. I might even write a few very short stories. If you can't deal with a typical lj user such as myself, don't add me.
However, I am open for anyone who wants to read this journal. Honestly, I don't care if anyone ever does. Writing or typing helps me get my thoughts straight.
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I visited my sister at the hospital today. It was really shocking to see her in that condition when I first walked in. They took her off of a lot of the machines earlier today, but seeing her like that was awful. I held it together, though. Everyone did. She woke up for a brief period of time and acted a little like herself. She could still recognize everyone, but with no real reaction. She mostly listlessly stared. At one point she was talking a little, but then the nurses started poking her again and she got quiet. I think she's really nervous right now. She always gets like that when she stays at the hospital because she knows she's going to get shots, ivs, etc. My mom thinks she would recover better at home because she can breathe on her own now and nothing else has happened in the last few days. I agree. We might get a hospital bed in her room so she can be propped up and have no trouble breathing in her sleep. She'd be a lot more comfortable in her own bedroom. She usually gets better quicker with she's at home.
I fell asleep right before her doctor came in and spoke with my parents about what they're going to do now. That was pretty dumb. They think it might have been some medicine they recently put her on, but they have no idea what happened. My mom said that four kids died in three days since Ashley's been in intensive care. We always seem to get lucky in the end.
She's recovering, that's all that matters right now. The nurse showed my mom a few exercises to get her muscles ready for when she's able to walk again. One doctor thinks she suffered severe brain damage. It could be months before she'll be ready to go back to school again. Who knows. They don't even know.